As I have received some interesting comments to my previous post on the issue of bisexuality (both on this blog and outside), I have decided to dig into it a bit more and to maybe give my perspective on some of the comments.
First of all, EWI said it reminded him of the disapproval of “going outside of the community”. I am not exactly sure what he means by this but my interpretation of it would be, going outside of the community would mean that you would still belong to the community but seek or just happen to find a partner who does not belong to this community, regardless of what the community is based on (religion, sexual orientation, race etc.) In that sense, I am not sure this is what happens to bisexuals who enter opposite-sex relationships. There is a stigma attached to it, a sense of disappointment on the part of the community, a sense of betrayal even sometimes, a sense that the prodigal son / daughter might actually not come back and is denying his or her true self and is selling out to a certain extent.
Secondly, he asks whether there is such a fear or hatred of heterosexuals amongst gay people. Some fear, yes of course. Gays die every day for their “crimes” in certain societies, they get beaten up outside pubs here in Ireland and the trend is growing. When a queer comes out, he or she has to be prepared for any kind of response, from a hug to a fist in the face.
As to whether there is hatred, I don’t think so. What is not liked is people who identify as bi-curious, bisexuals (because quite often the difference between the two is not clear in people’s minds) because there is that impression that they do not know to which side they belong. Most people are proud to be gay and would not change their sexuality for anything because it has become such a huge part of their self-identity. However, maybe there is some tension towards bisexuals who (should they "choose" to), can demarginalise themselves and enter “normal society”? I don't know, not being either a lesbian or a gay man myself... Of course, this would be easy if matters of the heart weren’t so complicated. For bisexuals, gender or sex is not an issue, the attraction is elsewhere and most people fail to understand that.
Categories: bisexuality; gender